He's fucking cool!

What they say: Johnny Strong of THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS and BLACK HAWK DOWN stars as New Orleans Police Detective Sean Riley, a tough cop mourning the death of his young son while investigating a series of brutal torture murders. But when a clue leads Riley to a troubled army buddy (Sean Patrick Flanery of THE BOONDOCK SAINTS), he’ll uncover a shocking military conspiracy that triggers a war between local gangs and an international team of mercenaries. And in a city set to explode, nothing is more dangerous than a man with nothing to lose. Kevin Phillips (NOTORIOUS), Costas Mandylor (SAW 3-D), Clifford ”Method Man” Smith, Jolene Blalock (”Star Trek: Enterprise”), Jürgen Prochnow (”24”), MMA legend Bas Rutten and Oscar® nominee Tom Berenger (PLATOON) co-star in this action-packed thriller about cops and killers, loss and redemption, and SINNERS AND SAINTS.

What I say: Awesome! Sounds pretty good right? WRONG! The main character, Sean, drives an El Camino! He’s fucking cool! He has tattoos all up and down his arms! He’s fucking cool! He wears shades ALL THE TIME! He’s fucking cool! He shoots first and asks questions later! He’s fucking cool! He’s a crazy white guy with a sane black partner (Who comes with family to place in danger. Bonus!)! He’s fucking cool like Mel Gipson! Me? I’m too old for this shit. (Aw c’mon, if they can rip off Lethal Weapon, I can too right? Right?)

Now in all honesty this isn’t a bad movie. How could it be? It steals borrows from some of the greatest action movies. When the movie isn’t trying SO FUCKING HARD to convince us that Sean is a badass, it’s actually ok. Not bad. But then he’s fucking cool! You know how people say that someone who constantly talks themselves up is trying too hard? Imagine an hour and forty minutes of this. And the dialogue? I swear to God it was cut and pasted from other action movies scripts. This could have been a mad libs version of Lethal Weapon 5.

Fucking cool Detective _______________, and his partner ___________, have to solve a string of crimes featuring ____________, The Detectives friend ____________ is involved. Sheesh, you get the point.

If you have NEVER EVER seen an action movie this is for you!

The picture quality and sound are fucking cool!

And let me tell you something else, I have mad love and respect for the Fast and the Furious movies, I basically have them committed to memory. And I have no clue who this Johnny Strong is. Was he the janitor on set? Not fucking cool!

Film: 6/10
Blu-Ray: 8/10
Recommended to those that wear shades ALL THE TIME!!!