So I thought I might write a review for this comic since y’know, that’s sort of what we’re supposed to do here, but instead I thought I would just tell you my case (it isn’t good) and then, as if this were some sort of court case, give you evidence supporting it.

Verdict: Ultimatum is shock-gore horse-$#!% intended to make you THINK it’s good because they’re doing “CRAZY” things, when really, it’s just superbly bad writing with people dying to make it look important.

EXHIBIT A:

Apparently, Ultimate Spider-Man is dead. Way to go, assholes. The only reason 90% of the readers pick up Ultimate titles is now Jeph Loeb-fodder.

EXHIBIT B:

BUNGHOLES?! Damn you, Loeb. Nick fury DOES NOT EQUAL Beavis and Butthead. It’s the Ultimates, you wrote Ultimates 3 so “Edgy”, why can’t he just say assholes, or jerks, or ANYTHING BUT BUNGHOLES!?!?!?!?

EXHIBIT C:

Explaining why this is bad would be like showing you the a video of the victim (Comic Books) being stabbed by the defendant (Jeph Loeb) and then having to actually explain why that is bad.

EXHIBIT D:

He can’t even write his own Evil Villain Dialogue. He has to borrow it from the Bible. Lazy and super F’d out.

EXHIBIT E:

Gore for the sake of gore. OMG THEY KILLED TEH DOKTOR STRANJJ!!!1

EXHIBIT F:

More gore for the sake of gore. So retarded. So so retarded. No fights, no characterization, it’s like a kid playing with action figures. All that’s needed is just the characters hitting each other and everyone’s having the time of their life. This is so $#!%.

So there you go faithful readers. Make up your own minds. Is this not awful? Also, I love Finch as an artist, and this is some of the worst work I have ever seen him churn out.